Lawyer one Liners

• 99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name.
• Criminal Lawyer - a redundant phrase.
• Send lawyers, guns and money!
• Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?... He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
• It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

• The defendant who pleads their own case has a fool for a client, but at least there will be no problem with fee-splitting.
• There was the cartoon showing two people fighting over a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the horns. Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.

• If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator -- It would be a good idea to just leave them there.
• I broke a mirror in my house and I am supposed to get 7 years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5.