Some movies, like Basic Instinct and Species, provide countless displays of gratuitous nude scenes, and that’s great because we expect them to. Conversely, certain movies contain nudity that jumps out at you like a forgotten $20 bill in your jacket pocket or a surprisingly large bowel movement. It’s such a surprising turn of events that you don’t even have time to prepare yourself for it. Maybe later you go back and try to find the scene somewhere on the web, or in some cases you try and forget about it as soon as possible, but you’ll always remember the shock of a certain actor or actress exposing themselves.
The Gift
Right now Mrs. Cruise is either a victim of scientology’s brainwashing or a happy actress that hit pay dirt when she was the first person with a vagina to elicit an erection from Tom Cruise.
Either way, Katie Holmes used to be just another actress trying to make a buck in Hollywood playing Joey Potter from Dawsons Creek. In the middle of her Dawson’s micro-fame, she had an ensemble role in 2000’s The Gift. With Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi starring, she decided to shed her adorable Joey Potter character (literally the girl next door on Dawsons), and drop trou. We never saw it coming, and we probably never will again as there were reports that Cruise blocked her full nudity in Thank You for Smoking. She did end up in a sex scene in that movie, which didn’t show any skin, so we think Cruise got to them.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
9.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
This 2008 movie was given a lot of promotion before it was released. There were posters all over NYC on cabs and subway walls (view photo), so everyone knew it was coming out. What we didn’t know (at least if we ignored the pre-release interviews about the film) was that Jason Segel was going to expose his man bits in the opening scene. Segel upped the ante for comedians everywhere by possessing the balls to show his junk for laughs (forgive all the puns). It turns the opening break-up scene with Kristen Bell into an uncomfortable peep show for Jason. I guess he pulled it off, but it still doesn’t make up for our shock.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
8.
Wedding Crashers
This movie
had a solid R rating, but most of us thought it would be for language and sexually mature theme. We all secretly hoped for some nudity, and we weren’t disappointed when the musical montage in the first part of the film provided us with a bevy of topless beauties falling into bed with the leading men Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.This was more surprising than you would think because the Janet Jackson fiasco had occurred the year before, and it had drastically cut down on the amount of skin movie studios would allow. Thankfully, the movie was a huge hit, even with the R rating, which paved the way for other like-minded filmmakers.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
7.
About Schmidt
Oh good lord Kathy! This movie is probably more famous for a 54-year-old Kathy Bates bearing it all, than it is for Nicholson or anything else. No one could have seen this coming, as geriatric nudity is generally frowned upon, especially in a rather mainstream movie (although this wasn’t the only nudity with elderly women, as we will see later in the list). I say mainstream because Nicholson and Bates are big names in Hollywood. Bates ended up scaring us as much as Annie Wilkes ever did.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
6.
Half Baked
Dave Chappelle has said in interviews that this movie was watered down before its release. Well, even with the watered down version released, every pothead in America has seen it at least once, as it has become a cult hit. If you’ve had a chance to watch the DVD instead of the edited for TV versions (no one saw this in the theater), then you’ll remember the climactic fight scene with Sampson’s henchwomen. A woman’s breast slips out as the heroes do battle. Everyone freezes for a second in the film and it takes the audience off guard as well (See also The 40year Old Virgin).
Video (Slightly NSFW):
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
This is another stoner comedy with a topless scene that jumps out at us. During Harold and Kumar’s long odyssey to White Castle, the duo encounter the boil infested Freakshow who agrees to drive them when Neil Patrick Harris hijacks their car. Well, when Harold and Kumar meet Freakshow’s wife, played by Malin Akerman, you don’t really know where it’s headed. Still reeling from Freakshow’s countenance, Malin’s gorgeous breasts are suddenly out of her shirt and she is begging Harold to touch them. You’re barely done keeping your lunch down around Freakshow before Malin bares all. It’s a shocking twist in the Freakshow vignette.
4.
The Thomas Crown Affair
Anyone that claimed to see this one coming is lying to you. It appeared to be a nice remake of the 1968 original. Going in, you expected a classy sex scene to appear, but that sex scene would only hint at the dalliance between stars Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan (in the original Faye Dunaway does not expose herself). But all of sudden they are on the spiral staircase, and a sex scene unfolds which is sultry AND revealing. It’s a sex and sweat filled romp across Thomas Crown’s luxurious townhouse. Russo looks incredible at her age, so kudos to a Hollywood actress bearing all at 45, and pulling it off. Which bring us to number 3 on our list.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
3.
Something’s Gotta Give
Jack Nicholson stars in his second film on this list. This time, his co-star is a regal Diane Keaton. Instead of an aging Kathy Bates, we have a 57-year-old Keaton inadvertantly exposing herself to Nicholson’s character. The scene is more slapstick then lust, but it was still a shocking display of bravado for star Keaton, who is a big enough draw in her own right that she didn’t need to go sans clothing. She actually looks pretty good, especially in comparison to Bates’ horror show, but it’s shocking anyway when you think about her Hollywood Hall of Fame credentials.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
2.
Just One of the Guys
In this film, Joyce Hyser plays high school student Terri Griffith, who goes undercover as a boy to get a high school newspaper story (gotta love the 1980’s high school plot devices). This classic is rife with immature sexual humor and terrible outfits, all 80’s staples. Also, a 1980’s staple: gratuitous nudity (see Porky’s and Fast Times at Ridgemont High). So, in the climactic scene, Hyster’s protagonist is caught in flagrante at the prom (where else) and exposes her true gender to a flabbergasted Rick Morehouse, played by Clayton Rohner. We are almost as shocked as Morehouse when we discover Hyser has been hiding that beautiful figure the whole movie.
Video (Slightly NSFW):
1.
Titanic
The most financially successful movie of all time shocked audiences with an illicit portraiture scene showing all the full-bodied Kate Winslet had to offer. Going in, the PG-13 rating had everyone believing any love scenes would be edited down. In actuality, the steamy love scene in the car did not have any nudity. But before Kate and Leo do the nasty, we beheld Kate in all her glory as Leo tried to capture all her incredible curves on canvass. It was absolutely astounding when seen on the big screen and especially so considering how many families went to see it.
Quick anecdote about Titanic-I actually won a lot of money from a friend in college when he said that Titanic couldn’t possibly be PG-13 because it showed Winslet in the buff. I collected my money and never looked back, so this is our number one surprising movie nude.
No comments:
Post a Comment