Saturday, March 19, 2011

Sex Scenes in games

Bioware has made a point of including a sex scene in their games.  It’s not full frontal porno we all know and love but rather implied video game sex. I’ll give Bioware as much credit for Ashley Williams as I do Gary and Wyatt for Lisa in Weird Science.
Frankly, video game sex scenes are the same as cartoon sex scenes.  The big difference being video game men and women are modeled after real men and women and cartoon men and women are modeled after men and little girls, or is that just anime and/or hentai?
Regardless, only one sex scene per game and the graphics had to be good enough to get wood.
Mass Effect
This is the first instance of Bioware creating borderline skinemax sex scenes.  Bioware knows how to create good looking female characters but the thing that really sets this video apart is it’s girl on girl alien sex.  If anybody knows the term for alien sex (homosexuality, bestiality, what’s the term for aliens) leave it in the comments.
Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect had space sex, you can naturally assume Mass Effect 2 has it and so will Mass Effect 3.  They don’t show tits in Bioware games which is a pretty big let down.
Dragon Age: Origins
Good old Bioware.  I’m really giving them the benefit of the doubt.  I don’t want to believe they’re that sexually repressed, or worse, that they think I am.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Everybody knows this scene.  I only qualified it because of the controversy surrounding this infamous “Hot Coffee” scene.  You couldn’t reach this scene without a mod and the graphics are primitive enough to not be very sexy.
Grand Theft Auto: Ballad of Gay Tony
This clip is only 7 seconds but it leaves no doubt what’s happening.  In fact he is plowing her in that bathroom.  Clothes aside, that clip could be taken from millions of pornos.
God of War 2
Most God of War sex clips leave a lot to the imagination.  He walks in, they’re topless and the camera pans away and you push buttons.  If they didn’t show the satisfied results, you could assume he killed them just like everyone else in the game.
God of War 3
This is a little more like it.  Instead of staring at the wall or a fucking cherub fountain you see two topless women holding each other in awe.
Indigo Prophecy
This is as close to a skinemax sex scene as it’s gotten.  The biggest flaw with this is the graphics.  Her tits are awfully square and her ass crack is a drawn on line.  It reminds me of the old women who shave their eyebrows and draw lines in their place.
Heavy Rain
This is very tastefully done. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have “good” taste, but this isn’t sex with your underwear on nor is it walking into a room to suddenly find naked women. The graphics are good and Madison Paige is in top form. Clearly the best we’ve seen in any M rated game to date.

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