Investment banker Harold Lee is taken advantage of by coworkers Billy Carver and J.D., who give him extra work so they can enjoy a long weekend. Kumar Patel, Harold's roommate, interviews for medical school admission; despite being an ideal candidate, he prefers getting stoned and enjoying himself. He attends the interview to please his father and is rejected when he answers his cell phone and talks about getting high with Harold.
Harold is harassed by "extreme sports punks" and unable to express his feelings for his neighbor Maria. After smoking marijuana that evening, Harold and Kumar grow hungry, notice an advertisement for White Castle, and decide to get hamburgers. The White Castle they planned to visit in New Brunswick has been replaced by "Burger Shack", but they are told there is a White Castle in Cherry Hill.
Kumar begins to "come down" and suggests stopping at Princeton University to buy weed. While Kumar negotiates with a hippie named Bradley, two female students approach the dealer. Kumar flirts with them and they give him their room number. Harold and Kumar smoke a joint but are discovered by a campus security guard. Hiding in the women's bathroom, they overhear the girls Kumar met complaining that they are going to have "taco shits". They enter stalls on either side of Harold and Kumar and play a game they call "Battleshits", which involves them farting to sink each other's ships. Harold and Kumar flee the bathroom, losing the bag of weed and causing Bradley to be arrested.
Resuming their journey, Kumar pulls over to urinate. He leaves the door open, allowing a raccoon to sneak in. It bites Harold, who convinces Kumar to take him to the hospital, where Kumar's father and brother work. Kumar steals ID badges from his father and brother to obtain medical marijuana, but is mistaken for his brother and performs surgery on a gunshot victim. The patient tells them how to reach White Castle. They learn that the hospital does not possess marijuana.
On the road, Kumar spots Maria. He decides to get her attention so Harold can talk to her, but Harold ducks down and pushes the gas pedal, causing the car to drive into a ditch. They are rescued by Randy, a God-loving, boil-faced tow-truck driver nicknamed "Freakshow". He takes them to his house to repair their car and tells them to make themselves at home and have sex with his wife. Harold and Kumar talk with Freakshow's wife and agree to receive oral sex from her. Harold begins fondling her breasts when Freakshow comes in. After he suggests a foursome Harold and Kumar run to their car.
While driving, Kumar notices a hitchhiker on the side of the road, so he decides to stop despite Harold's insistence that they not do so. The hitchhiker is Neil Patrick Harris, who is high on Ecstasy and was thrown from a car. Harold and Kumar head into a convenience store to get directions. The Extreme Sports Punks arrive, damaging the store and harassing the cashier. As Harold and Kumar leave, Harris drives away in Harold's car. Harold inadvertently punches a racist police officer and is arrested.
In jail Harold sees Bradley; Bradley's weed is confiscated and his mother takes him home. Harold meets a black professor named Tarik, who claims he was arrested by the same officer for being black. After faking a 911 call, Kumar frees Harold. They take Bradley's bag and flee into the woods.
Harold and Kumar encounter an escaped cheetah and ride it after smoking weed with it. Harold is knocked unconscious by a tree branch, awakening to find his laptop destroyed. Finding their way out of the woods, Harold and Kumar find a hot dog joint and see their neighbors Goldstein and Rosenberg eating hot dogs and looking happy. Harold decides he wants the feeling of satisfaction that comes from getting what you want. After another encounter with the sports punks, Harold and Kumar steal their truck. A police officer spots the truck speeding and pursues them. They briefly elude the officer but are trapped at the edge of a cliff.
Harold is ready to give up, but Kumar makes a speech about their journey and spots the White Castle they have been searching for below them. They take a hang glider from the truck and use it to reach their destination. They place their orders only to discover they have no money. Harris shows up, apologizes for what he did, pays for their meal, returns Harold's car and gives Harold $200 for "love stains made in the back seat".
Kumar realizes he wants to be a doctor, but is afraid of conforming to the stereotype of Indians becoming doctors. Harold encounters his co-workers and berates them for leaving their work to him. At their apartment building they encounter Maria in the hallway, waiting for the elevator. Harold professes his love for her and they kiss. Unfortunately, she is leaving to visit Amsterdam. Kumar convinces Harold to go with him to Amsterdam, reminding him that marijuana is legal in the Netherlands.
Harold is harassed by "extreme sports punks" and unable to express his feelings for his neighbor Maria. After smoking marijuana that evening, Harold and Kumar grow hungry, notice an advertisement for White Castle, and decide to get hamburgers. The White Castle they planned to visit in New Brunswick has been replaced by "Burger Shack", but they are told there is a White Castle in Cherry Hill.
Kumar begins to "come down" and suggests stopping at Princeton University to buy weed. While Kumar negotiates with a hippie named Bradley, two female students approach the dealer. Kumar flirts with them and they give him their room number. Harold and Kumar smoke a joint but are discovered by a campus security guard. Hiding in the women's bathroom, they overhear the girls Kumar met complaining that they are going to have "taco shits". They enter stalls on either side of Harold and Kumar and play a game they call "Battleshits", which involves them farting to sink each other's ships. Harold and Kumar flee the bathroom, losing the bag of weed and causing Bradley to be arrested.
Resuming their journey, Kumar pulls over to urinate. He leaves the door open, allowing a raccoon to sneak in. It bites Harold, who convinces Kumar to take him to the hospital, where Kumar's father and brother work. Kumar steals ID badges from his father and brother to obtain medical marijuana, but is mistaken for his brother and performs surgery on a gunshot victim. The patient tells them how to reach White Castle. They learn that the hospital does not possess marijuana.
On the road, Kumar spots Maria. He decides to get her attention so Harold can talk to her, but Harold ducks down and pushes the gas pedal, causing the car to drive into a ditch. They are rescued by Randy, a God-loving, boil-faced tow-truck driver nicknamed "Freakshow". He takes them to his house to repair their car and tells them to make themselves at home and have sex with his wife. Harold and Kumar talk with Freakshow's wife and agree to receive oral sex from her. Harold begins fondling her breasts when Freakshow comes in. After he suggests a foursome Harold and Kumar run to their car.
While driving, Kumar notices a hitchhiker on the side of the road, so he decides to stop despite Harold's insistence that they not do so. The hitchhiker is Neil Patrick Harris, who is high on Ecstasy and was thrown from a car. Harold and Kumar head into a convenience store to get directions. The Extreme Sports Punks arrive, damaging the store and harassing the cashier. As Harold and Kumar leave, Harris drives away in Harold's car. Harold inadvertently punches a racist police officer and is arrested.
In jail Harold sees Bradley; Bradley's weed is confiscated and his mother takes him home. Harold meets a black professor named Tarik, who claims he was arrested by the same officer for being black. After faking a 911 call, Kumar frees Harold. They take Bradley's bag and flee into the woods.
Harold and Kumar encounter an escaped cheetah and ride it after smoking weed with it. Harold is knocked unconscious by a tree branch, awakening to find his laptop destroyed. Finding their way out of the woods, Harold and Kumar find a hot dog joint and see their neighbors Goldstein and Rosenberg eating hot dogs and looking happy. Harold decides he wants the feeling of satisfaction that comes from getting what you want. After another encounter with the sports punks, Harold and Kumar steal their truck. A police officer spots the truck speeding and pursues them. They briefly elude the officer but are trapped at the edge of a cliff.
Harold is ready to give up, but Kumar makes a speech about their journey and spots the White Castle they have been searching for below them. They take a hang glider from the truck and use it to reach their destination. They place their orders only to discover they have no money. Harris shows up, apologizes for what he did, pays for their meal, returns Harold's car and gives Harold $200 for "love stains made in the back seat".
Kumar realizes he wants to be a doctor, but is afraid of conforming to the stereotype of Indians becoming doctors. Harold encounters his co-workers and berates them for leaving their work to him. At their apartment building they encounter Maria in the hallway, waiting for the elevator. Harold professes his love for her and they kiss. Unfortunately, she is leaving to visit Amsterdam. Kumar convinces Harold to go with him to Amsterdam, reminding him that marijuana is legal in the Netherlands.
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